It might be time to set some modest goals
Last month, I left the city I called home for 10 years (Oxford, UK) and moved abroad (Nijmegen, NL). It’s been a pretty challenging time, so I have been putting into practise something I am generally useless at: sticking to modest goals (which is not to say that I'm great at sticking to grand goals either).
This is an insight into what I usually do...
Step 1: the ‘yay’ moment = energy! motivation! drive! do all the things!
Step 2: grind, grind, grind = overwork in all areas
Step 3: exhaustion = become a grumpy slug
Step 4: rest = do nothing (anxiously and resentfully)
Return to Step 1
I'm tired just listing that.
I got serious about overturning this habit in 2019 and then the pandemic happened, life sh*t happened, and I had to renege on that promise to myself out of necessity for a bit.
Well, it's now feels like time to get back on track.
How? By setting some modest goals, which—as ever—is somewhat easier said than done...
Evaluate what circumstance you’re working with
Fantasy, or reality?
My week 0 in the Netherlands fantasy: get my entire house in order, life admin complete, go for 3 runs, go for 3 bike rides, write my business plan and submit my tax return.
My week 0 in the Netherlands reality: no broadband connection, 4 full days of freelancing in an office full of cardboard and clothes, a few hours trying to figure out how to use the intercom and a trip to Ikea; all of which left me feeling more tired than 7 days riding the Tour de France. My biggest achievement was the cumulative number of The (US) Office episodes I watched on Netflix.
Time for a realistic reboot and some modest goal setting
My expectations for week 1 needed a major revision:
Goal 1: cycle into town for lunch once
Goal 2: complete 35 mins of learning Dutch on Duolingo (5 mins a day)
Not exciting by any standard, but I ended week 1 with my goals complete and energy for life's curveballs in the bank.
It meant that when it came to week 2, I could be fully present to enjoy a sunny weekend and complete my second modest goal of cycling to a cafe and re-attempting to order “twee koffies, alsjeblieft” (my first attempt resulted in a coffee and a mint tea).
Remember that fitness is not the same as exercise
Peak physical fitness is not the same as being able to do 30 push-ups a day, run 25km, or ride a century.
To steal some definitions from Katy Bowman:
Physical fitness is the ability to carry out daily tasks with vigour and alertness, without undue fatigue and with ample energy to enjoy leisure time pursuits and to meet unforeseen emergencies.
Exercise is physical activity that is planned, structured, and repetitive and has a final, or immediate objective to improve, or maintain physical fitness.
Consider this a gentle piece of encouragement to take a wider view of physical fitness, especially when setting goals, or placing unrealistic expectations on yourself.